My daughter’s latest obsession, as she puts it ” mommy I want to go back in your tummy”. It makes me laugh and teary-eyed at the same time. I cry not just at the thought of pushing a toddler out of me this time (whenever she decides to come out) but at how innocent and sincere her plea is. At how much love is buried in that request. Even after all the time outs, disciplining, and loss of patience at my end, she still draws back to me with utmost love. For my simple touch and kiss makes her smile wide beyond belief. Her constant compliments “mommy you are so pretty” and constant checks “mommy are you upset, are you OK?” makes me wonder, apart from being overwhelmed. Will she be like this forever?
No matter how much I want to believe otherwise, I know this incessant need of hers to talk to me ALL the time will be replaced with “mommy I need my privacy” in those teenager years. I know there will come a time when my darling who hates an inch of separation from me would want to move away from home just because being on her own will seem so much more fun. But then I know (hope?) that those years will also be followed by times when she would want to come running back to me. When she would want to spill all her secrets and chat again. When even though I might not be able to solve (even understand) all her challenges, she will draw comfort in discussing them with me. Or even, when she will want to throw a fit and scream at me just because she would have realized how in the grown up world only moms are OK with the “down” days and in return my daughter would demand to hear, “it will all be fine, sweetie”. for as a mom, I would have made her an unsaid and unconditional promise over the years, that, I will be there no matter what.
I can say all this with confidence because at present I am that daughter to my mother. Having gone through “being on my own” wonderful journey, I too want to rush back to my mom every now and then. Even though I can’t most of the times (the binding commitments of adulthood) I know that there’s one lady in the world I love as much as my daughter loves me and vice versa. There’s one lady in the world who will listen to all my tantrums, cheer my ups and bear my downs and love me unceasingly. Because of the same unspoken promise she’s made to me, which has remained undeterred over the years. That lady I call mom. It’s this relationship with my mom which lets me to enjoy each and every kiss my baby plants on my cheeks right now, gives me the solace to listen to each and every harsh “no” from her later, and fills my heart to know that she will always be my sweet little baby; hopefully by then having overcome the need to get back in my tummy again.