Today was not a good day to wear mascara. After solo parenting for three days, patience and stamina, both had absconded. Day fourth was hoodwinked by mere self-restraint. So this morning, day sixth, all I wanted to do was hit that snooze button for another thirty minutes. BAD IDEA!
Of course, like a charm, Mr. Murphy showed up with his laws. My kids woke up thirty minutes earlier than usual. That too, from wrong sides on their beds. If anyone is doing the math, it meant a total loss of sixty precious morning minutes by that point.
As I was saying, wrong side of bed – my son threw an absolute fit because I trashed some of his scrap papers. You would think, I threw his Mona Lisa in the making. My daughter wanted to test out candles, for in her words, “I want to check if the fragrance matched the label”.
In midst of all this, I am tossing their lunches in their bags and flying those classic mom phrases – NO, NOT NOW, HURRY UP, YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES.
While, my head was going tick tock, you are losing the battle with the clock, my kids’ were waddling to the anthem of procrastination and sloths.
Brushing their teeth was synonymous to yanking them out. Choosing a pair of socks had become something of a Sophie’s choice. And, putting on clothes had gotten too arduous and suffocating.
Then, it happened. At the breakfast table, after only been coaxed six times to settle down, my son accidentally knocked off his glass full of milk on the floor.
Bam! Just like that, I lost it and unleashed my inner, dragon mom. DRACARYS style. I was screaming at the top of my lungs without pausing to breathe or coherently speak. After a few long seconds of scolding, I did the mommy countdown. In five, both were in their car seats with their shoes and bags on.
You would think they had suddenly been recruited into a military school, marching in line and perfectly following orders.
What followed after their drop offs is a scene all moms can attest to. Uninhibited crying and self-abomination. Once again I unleashed. Only this time, it was an amalgamation of guilt, sadness, and remorse. That’s the power of our offsprings. First, they will drive you up a wall and then, make you feel horrible for taking the trip. Needless to say the day was a complete waste, nothing meaningful was attempted or achieved.
By the evening, after a lot of breathing, calming words by a close friend and my husband, I came to three conclusions, once AGAIN.
1) Single parents should be allowed the world. Solo parenting, once in a while, makes me bow down to those who do this 365 days a year. They need an extra hug and an extra drink.
2) ‘ME’ time should never be missed. Wake up early, have your coffee, breathe, get ready mentally, emotionally and physically while the crazies are still in bed.
3) Skip the mascara. There will be plenty of crying. Happy tears, sad tears, ecstatic tears, mad tears and of course, guilty tears. Save yourself the hassle of wiping them off with black messes later. Enjoy motherhood, mascara free!