
Couple of days back, I was having a very bad day. A day when I didn’t want to count my blessings and look at positive side of things. All I wanted to do was sulk, cry and ask why. After a week of multiple ER and urgent care visits, my husband and I found out that our 3 year old son is asthmatic. Something we suspected but weren’t ready to accept.
In the grand scheme of things, it may be pretty tiny. Other than occasional cold and cough, he’s a healthy boy and asthma isn’t the end of the world. But still, this new piece of information stung. And, stung badly!
What he had was deemed to be a pretty severe attack and after multiple nebulizer treatments too, his wheezing didn’t stop. Took him to the ER, where they administered back to back treatments. Next day, another bad flare up. This time the doctor put him on steroids which seem to work after few hours albeit leaving my baby extremely fatigued.
In all of this, as a mom, I felt like a complete failure. Maybe I didn’t breastfeed him enough, maybe didn’t build his immune system enough, maybe didn’t protect him from cold and dust enough…maybe…maybe…
Based on my preliminary research and conversation with the pediatrician, we have to provide preventive care. Need to save him from common cold, germs and infections. But, how exactly do you save a 3 year old from germs? Specially, if you have one of those who revels among germs. As a result, infections don’t attack him, my baby boy invites them.
While I was in the midst of this depressing deluge, somethings completely unrelated dawned on me.
My stress was taking a toll on three of the biggest assets in my life
1) my husband – I had been directing my misplaced anger and agitation towards him. Bickering parents are the worst for a child who’s already under duress.
2) my daughter – being focused on my son, I somewhat neglected my daughter. She too is just a kid and no matter what her mom’s attention shouldn’t be diverted.
3) my son – in the process of obsessing over his health, I was making his happiness secondary. Kids reflect their parents’ emotions and all I was doing was making him well aware of my stressed mindset.
The truth of the matter is that this is our new normal. Maybe not ideal but surely not unmanageable. And definitely, not worth losing faith, hope and high-spirits. Like so many things in parenting, I will falter before finding my footing. But like so many other times, I need to believe that this time too shall pass.
“This too shall pass.” I believe it will. It’s so difficult when our shortcomings in our trials affect the people that we love. But we are all human. I always find comfort in knowing that as I do my best, Jesus will make up for where I lack and heal hearts, not only mine, but those around me as well. ❤️ Love and blessings to you today friend.
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Thank you, Jenny! Sincerely appreciate your words. I struggle when I don’t feel confident that I am doing the best.
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That’s what parents do. Worry over their children. It never stops.
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I pray that your son will recover soon. As mothers, we suffer to see them suffer.
I’ve found that raising kids is tough work for which my only experience was my lived-in apprenticeship period growing up with four siblings. We make mistakes that may affect their health. We do our best to prevent them from doing things that would be harmful to their health. As mothers, we can’t be everywhere all of the time.
Yes, “this [crisis] too shall pass.” We not only learn with each crisis but we also become a more tightly knit family that cares for each other ❤
Take care of yourself. A stressed out mother helps no one.
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Thank you! Sincerely appreciate your kind words. It gets really hard sometimes but yes, stress isn’t the option. Need to breathe and carry on! 😊
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It surely will.. Change is the only constant.. And times change.. So keep faith dear.. Experience speaking.. 👍🏼😉🤗
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Thank you! Sincerely appreciate your kind words. Right now it just feels very hard but yes I agree. 🙏
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I can understand.. Always know that even Time has its own time.. So before that we just have to bear with it.. All the best dear.. Repeat.. ‘Aaaaaalllll ijjjjj welllllll’.. 😉🤗.. God bless.. 😇💕
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I have asthma. Something that helps me is an air purifier with a Hepa Filter. I cleans the air of dust, pollen, and mold. I use it in my bedroom.
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Thank you for this info. We do use humidifiers but will look into this too.
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It helps me. I can tell when it is time to change the filter.
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I just looked it up and ordered it!! THANK YOU!
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You’re welcome. Hope it helps. Maybe put it in his bedroom as he sleeps and then in room where he is most of the day
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Oh my dear, as parents we worry so, even with a medical background, we become virtually unglued in the face of our loved ones’ distress. Sometimes the attacks lessen as they get older. And children are surprisingly resilient and can handle a lot more than we think. But of course you will worry, it’s what we do. Praying he feels better soon.
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Thanks Penne for your encouraging words. Yes, this relentless worrying which’s motherhood.
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I know it.
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may God make him brave and grant him ease and relief.
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You’re a great mum and all great mums worry about their kids. Don’t let that pesky mother’s guilt take hold. You have immense inner strength and self-reflection to notice your unwanted behaviours and modify them for the benefit of your loved ones. Sending you a virtual hug. Xx
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I am sorry to hear your son is struggling. It sounds like you and your husband are doing a great job taking care of him. Don’t beat yourself up, this is not your fault. ❤ I have read a few of your posts now and I can tell you are very intelligent. It takes a very smart and thoughtful person to recognize a problem in oneself and then fix it. You saw that your stress was wreaking more havoc and you decided to change it. Give yourself a break, every day is a learning experience. 🙂 May God be with you and your family.
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Ohh you really made me feel so good. Thank you so much! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
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